I am a child of the 70's. Born into the era of Charlie's Angels, Love Boat, Dallas, Dynasty and Mork & Mindy (aka- the no bra brigade). Raised on diet of confidence, assertiveness, and a self-belief that I could be anything I wanted because I was no longer shackled by the restraints of the past.
I was equal. Of that, there was and is no doubt in my mind.
I started my working career in a call centre in the city with a company that was experiencing growth. I both saw and made opportunities to advance myself within the company. I was on the rise.
It wasn't a conscious effort of planning and scheming on my part. I was being myself and it turns out, other people liked what I said and how I acted and my bank account benefited from that. So much so, that my husband was able to quit his job to retrain in new profession which he had always dreamed of. No problem. We are a team.
Half way into his retraining the inevitable happened. I got pregnant. No we weren't planning. Yes we used birth control. Guess what? It happened anyways!
OK, family time. After a suitable amount of time, and when I thought I better say something because I was going to start showing, I told people at work. No one believed me. They told me I was on my way up the corporate ladder and wasn't the type to factor kids into the picture. This was news to me. I had no idea how single-minded I appeared. I was just doing my job and giving my best to my employer. That's what you're supposed to do, right?
Cut to me, after six months of paid maternity leave, preparing to go back to work. I walked into the office my first day back and it was so anticlimactic! I remember loving work! I remember being dedicated and energising those around me. Didn't have that feeling anymore. All I could think about was getting home to my darling little girl who brought me both the highest highs and lowest lows I had ever known. (By the way, she still does!)
I remember thinking to myself... 'This isn't right. You shouldn't want to be home. You should want to be here. What's wrong with you? This is what is fulfilling. Get your head screwed on straight, find Rechelle and bring her back from captivity from the one known as mummy!"
It didn't work. Mummy won. Here's the kicker... I wanted her to win. I decided to work on a contract basis which would allow more time with my baby. This of course greatly affected the bank balance. After having my second child almost 2 years later, I left the workforce altogether.
Corporate Rechelle was gone. Instead of mourning her loss, I celebrated it. I didn't become someone less than who she was, I was still the same person. I did have the title Mummy, but I was still confident, assertive, smart and had the self-belief I could be anything, even a mum, if I choose to be.
Unfortunately not everyone is society agreed. Apparently I wasn't fulfilled. Apparently I wasn't challenged. And apparently I was shackled by the restraints of the past. I should get back to work and be a productive member of society.
Wait a minute... I chose this. Investing time in the business of raising children is productive to society. We all believe this to a certain degree, that's why we have schools, pre-schools and why we just about run a FBI back ground check on childcare centres and babysitters.
So when we were at functions and I was asked 'what I did', my comment was that I was in Leadership Development raising the nation's future leaders. Now that's a conversation stopper! People didn't know what to say.
Ten years later the time came for me to re-enter the workforce. Again some in society would tell me I wasn't right. I should put my family time above finances. I only have a limited time with my children, I should cherish it. Here's the thing, my family cherishes food, clothing, shelter and holidays away together so, back to work I went!
It would be great financially to pick up where I left off, but we all know that wasn't going to happen. That's OK. I didn't want to be the wheel. I wanted to be a cog. A cog doesn't have to provide direction. A cog doesn't have to run the team. A cog can go on field trips. But a cog can be easily replaced.
Again I found myself with an employer that was making changes in their business that would mean my particular skill set would be an advantage. It was part-time job. I was a cog. Opportunity to move into a position that would benefit me as well as my employer came and I took it. Now I'm more of a gear. Still not the wheel, but harder to replace than a cog.
It's not a big firm in the city with deep pockets. But that's OK. I still get to work part-time, school hours. Occasionally I need to work early mornings or late nights. But I work 5 mins from home. I leave early when needed. I go on fieldtrips and camps.
So what exactly is the cost of 'having it all'? It's the price we as individuals are willing to pay and it is as different and unique as we are.
My entire life has been series of trade-offs between work, money and family. I chose and still choose the price I pay - either financially or that valuable commodity of time. I found the balance for me. It may not suit you, that's OK. Find your balance. Find what works for you and don't let the Fatally Feminist or the Mom-Squad guilt you into thinking your decision is the wrong one. If we are equal then our decisions are of equal value and not based on imposed thoughts or opinions of others, but based on who we are and what we value.
I am doing me and loving it.
By Rechelle McNair
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8654126
Related Video :
Raising your child and having it all by Lovina Akowuah
0 Response to "How Much Does "Having It All" Really Cost?"
Post a Comment